Dealing with Toddler Temper Tantrums
You are pushing the shopping cart down one of the aisles in a neighborhood supermarket. Your toddler tumbles towards you, asking you if he could have the green candies on one of the shelves. You said no. Within seconds, your toddler is on the floor of the store, flailing limbs and letting out high-pitched shrieks that tickle the eardrums of even those in the farthest corner of the store’s parking lot. You look around and see everyone has stopped dead in their tracks to gasp and gape at the scene that you and your child are creating. You try to hold your child by the arm but he brushes you off, wailing even louder. By this time, you try to summon all the power of the universe and urge it to create a hole in the ground to gulp you down.
Temper Tantrums Techniques
If this scene sounds familiar, you have experienced temper tantrums from your toddler. And if your child is between 2 and 5 years of age, this is perhaps not the last time you will experience this scene. For toddlers, temper tantrums are just another way of communicating their wants and an attempt to get them fulfilled at all costs. Crying, screaming, stomping, throwing things are just a few of the many temper tantrum techniques adopted by toddlers.
Unfortunate but Unavoidable
Unfortunately, temper tantrums are a way of life for most toddlers, and therefore, inevitable. And even though parents might know all about the ‘terrible 2s’, even before the phase has developed in their childhood, when the real phase begins, it can still be quite distressing. While a fit of rage every now and then isn’t particularly a cause of concern, parents need to correct the behavior if they become too severe.
Identify Triggers
Next time your kid throws a fit, remember to stop and analyze the situation before taking any measures to control it. Is he frustrated? Does he feel neglected? Or is it just another means for them to try and get everything he wants? Does it always happen for the same reasons? Identifying triggers will help you decipher the reasons that caused the unreasonable behaviors. It will also help you classify your toddler’s temper tantrums as either manipulative tantrums or frustrated ones, which allows you to pinpoint the problem and resolve the issue accordingly. For example, a frustrated tantrum should be dealt with empathy and support. Manipulative tantrums, on the other hand, are meant to be dealt in the exact opposite fashion. If you are sure the tantrum is manipulative, do not indulge or give in. Don’t take the easy way out! Always choose to observe in a close distance, but do not give any emotional reaction. Make it very clear that you are willing to listen to him or consider his wants only when he calms down completely and voices his wants in an appropriate and mature manner.
Stop the Screaming
As soon as your kid starts to wail, all you want is for it to stop. To achieve this, the most tempting thing to do is to give in to whatever he desires. Your child knows it, which is why he throws the temper in the first place. But giving in will only reinforce this belief that things can be achieved by wailing and flailing limbs. Once you give him what he wants after a temper tantrum, such fits are here to stay. The first thing to do when you experience a toddler temper tantrum is to keep your own temper in check. If you try to calm the child by screaming louder, you will only end up with a screaming fest! Keep calm and ignore the behavior. Eventually, your child will grow tired or he or she realizes that throwing a fit is not going to get them anywhere, the tantrum will cease on its own. Once the commotion stops, you could ask your child to sit down and explain to them, calmly but firmly, why behaviors such as temper tantrums are unacceptable and useless. Kids cannot always get what they want. It is understandable that keeping calm in a public space, such as the supermarket, is especially difficult, but it is the most effective long-term policy to stop temper tantrums. Don’t give in to temptation even if you have to drag out a screaming child with a red face. If, however, it gets inconsolable, hold him tight, calm him down emotionally and remove him from the situation.
